Tag Archives: piano

January 17-22 debrief

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All things considered, it’s been a great week; somehow mustering the courage and will to record Day 1-4 of #100daysofpractice, including Day 4’s substantial instructional but highly rewarding work, making progress with the Shostakovich, and moving things along with the Mozart.

Physically, it’s been a really rough week. My right wrist has been inflamed and seriously bothering me this entire week. Since the booster shot on Monday, it’s been flaring up non-stop. Even the anti-inflammatory medication I’m taking nightly isn’t really taking the edge off the pain. I’m going to take the biologic injection early this week in an attempt to quell the fiery sting of the inflammation gnawing away at the right side of my wrist.

I cannot negate how much this affects me mentally either. There will be moments of relief and I think ‘oh hey, it’s getting better’, but nope. It’s back. And there’s very little I can do apart from running that doesn’t engage the hands and the wrists.

There’s so much I’m anxious over. But primarily, the Feb festivals deadline is encroaching. The rejections from the Cliburn and the Santander competition were like brutal slaps on my face. I still don’t know whether the Takamatsu competition is going ahead or not. I spoke of uncertainty last time, but there’s a lot that’s gnawing away at me right now. It’s hard to find peace. And I think that’s why I’ve got to write it all down. Typing is currently less painful than writing, but I think typing really helps me so I will hopefully continue this endeavour.

I found some other competitions that have an age limit of over 30 – that instilled some hope. I also have to consider switching gears. I know I deep down want that first prize or want that big win, and most of all, I want so bad to play with orchestras. But I ought not to negate emailing and sending a more modern press kit to small orchestras either. An agent would probably be doing something like that for me normally but without an agent, I have to do that for myself.

There’s so much on my mind that it’s sometimes very hard to focus. There’s content – I want to be and stay consistent with it. And with content, that can grow so much – from weekly podcasts, skits, challenges and fun videos, to educational videos and an exploration into music production, songwriting, and composition. It’s seriously endless. How do all the successful people do it???!!?

Then there’s the music side of it. I believe I ought to have recordings done each year. This could range from EPs to full recordings. And I’ll have to probably produce these on my own. Which hall will I use? Who knows. Will I hire an engineer? Who knows. But I have to start somewhere. This will definitely help my plea to play with orchestras and be engaged with concert venues.

And then of course, there’s the business side of things. I originally thought that I could perhaps do all this AND have a job on the side. Something not too demanding, in the industry where I can meet people, and yet, engaging enough for me to learn something. As much as I would like to do this, I realise that I cannot max myself out. How will I stay afloat with a job AND content AND my own practice and music recordings AND teach AND do performances?

Unless you haven’t realised, it’s a LOT to do. And because of my propensity to say yes to a lot of social engagements (it’s very hard to say no to a close friend’s 30th – nor do I think it’s healthy to be completely isolated), I am left to fend for myself with time, with energy, and with consistency.

I CANNOT begin to express how much I’m going to miss having my Kawai piano when I’m gone. I wish I could take it with me. I really need an instrument that I can trust and I can express myself and this ticks the box. I love the space I get to work in, from my bookshelf to my sometimes cluttered but dependable desk.

There’s also issues with family that I’m chipping away at as well. My wrist is bothering me even now when all I’m doing is typing. Sigh*

Ok. I’m done ranting. I should take a shower, get ready for bed, do my injections, and try again tomorrow. On a brighter note, I discovered the immense joy of play once more. During the birthday party today at Heritage park, a friend brought some wooden paddles and small squash-like balls, and we just played with that for some time and it was SO fun. We also threw a NERF rocket thing around and that was fun. I really missed that. And I hope I have the chance to keep playing and challenging myself physically whilst still having fun.

OH. Another win of the week. 4km run in the rain, 3x up that mighty hill. Mantras that helped? ‘Not done yet’, and the fact that I have to ‘EARN it’. Looking forward to the next run.

60 seconds to remind you to go outside

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A walk in Darvall Park

yes, we’re still in lockdown but I’ve discovered that within my 10km radius of allowed venturing, I have a LOT of parks around me that I have yet to explore. And so, I took my camera out and filmed some snippets to try and remind you and also myself, that although the monotony of lockdown can be suffocating, notwithstanding the uncertainty of my own future and outcomes of plans, nature is ever changing, ever different, and gives us a glimpse that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel.

Why I love opera

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Every musical phrase starts with a breath. And with that breath, we paint the poetry of life’s joys and sorrows. Inevitably, some phrases reach a climax, a cadence. In that moment, just before the release, we hold our breath, in awe of how powerfully these words, these cries, these vibrations in the air, can pierce into the shell of our masked human-ness.

It strikes, it pierces, and then it evaporates. Comforting, enfolding, and surrounding us with warmth and strength of feeling as we exhale, foreshadowing and reminding us of the phrases within our very own existence.

How to be fearless

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If I may venture to give advice, although I don’t believe I am qualified to as this is also something I’m in the process of working out fully, I think this may be one way to become fearless

It came to me whilst I was reading a 3-2-1 article by James Clear. Of satisfaction, he quoted author Ann Hastings on the availability of satisfaction:

“Satisfaction is always available. It is just not always looked for. If, when you enter any experience, you enter with curiosity, respect and interest you will emerge enriched and with awareness you have been enriched. Awareness of enrichment is what satisfaction is.” Ann Hastings.

It dawned upon me that fear should also be treated in the same way! If we can treat something we fear with curiosity, paint the task, person, or the event with respect, build interest and knowledge within that looming darkness, we twist the arm of that which we are afraid of. We become aware of this shadow in our lives via a different lens.

And this is perhaps how I’ll work on my procrastination and my fears.

Same Interview

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This is not particularly radical but upon watching Billie Ellish’s Same Interview, I really do think it’s worthwhile for me to do the same. For my YouTube channel.

I’ve always been obsessed with having a record of my thoughts, my development, and my change throughout the years. At the more arrogant age of 20 or so, I thought I would be some famous person one day and someone would need these diary entries to write a biography about me.. ahahaha

But I think this is ultimately an amazing way for me to reflect on my life and provide a portrait of who I am, who I was, and who I’ve become.

On a slightly separate note, I’m still working out whether I make content for me or content for others. To sort this out would get to the crux of how I could stay inspired more consistently.

In any case, for my podcast, I think I might do the same for my friends who I interview.. a series of the same-ish questions I ask each time they come back on. Just to see how things are. I believe humans are intuitively hooked on observing change – thus sunsets, the sky, gardening, time lapses, and character development in entertainment intrigue us so much. I’m going to lean into that.

Chris Au in concert, 2025

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I was brushing my teeth and daydreaming.

I dreamt I was performing at Koerner Hall. I had finished playing some Schubert Impromptus and had gone backstage for a quick breather. Upon coming out, the stage was set up with a guitar and a keyboard on top of a nice rug. The second half was going to be a concert of singing, jamming, playing my own songs, and vibing with the audience.

I loved that. I wish I were able to do that. And can I? I think the incredible Chris Thile is as close as it gets to someone who meshes artistically and sincerely many different genres of music to give a beautiful music experience. He’s got some bluegrass, some Bach, and somethings in between.

I want to do that. And do that I think I’ve gotta start expanding my repertoire, continue to focus, and work hard.

A concert of classical, indie acoustic songs, improv, songs from the 60s – 90s, a little bit of slow jazz.. is that too crazy to ask for?

How to hustle

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This is my mind. Too many little projects. Muddled. I’ll never reach the sea nor the horizon this way.

I think I’ve found out what I lack.

I lack the hustle. I think I work quite hard at a lot of different things at once. I like working a little on ideas here and then working on another idea there. But I lack the hustle of focusing on one or two things INTENSELY.

I start some series and then drop it when I feel like it’s not going in the direction I’d like it to. Or I’ll watch a movie, and get distracted it and look up something on my phone. Or blog.

What’s one crazy thing I can do to make me hustle better?

Is it having a clear goal and banging the hammer on the nail of it every single day?

The entrepreneur and musician Derek Sivers has this amazing gift of being able to focus. Only WANTING to focus on one thing until it’s done. Sometimes that meant isolation.

I need to practice the art form and discipline of focusing on one thing for a long time. I need to enter into Deep Work. This is the only way I’ll succeed.

I need to be clear with my goals, clear with my daily intentions, and disciplined in my practice. If I dedicate one hour to something, that hour is dedicated to it.

I will not veer, I will not get distracted until that goal is done. If I get distracted, like meditation, I will return back to it.

Competitions done right

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Me in Taipei for the Maestro Taiwan International Piano Competition having a great time

How do we make music competitions a positive and nurturing experience? How do we navigate through the competitive, win-lose, and often tortuous nature of these contests? On top of that, how can jury members, organisers, and the administration ensure that competitors will WANT to come back because they’re able to get so much value out of the competition?

That is the challenge I want to tackle. I’ve been asked by a really good friend to collaborate on a competition. My first thought was: how can we distinguish ourselves from all the other thousands of competitions? Prize money? Concert opportunities? Prestigious jury members?

Or shall we go down a route where we try to offer each and every qualifying competitor the best and most valuable lessons in music, art, and life? So that even if you do not attain the first couple of prizes, you don’t feel like you lost. You would feel like you have the tools to get better. I want the competitors to feel like they’ve gained something either in technique, career advice, musical and artistic experience, or even something as simple as encouragement from the competition.

This is so we can build a world where artists feel like they are a part of something larger. That they can incorporate art and the lessons learnt from honing a craft, into their own lives.

For me, this is a prize that I can offer everyone and it will be something invaluable that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Who wants to collab on an Indie album?

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What would happen if four classical musicians and a producer worked on writing an album? What would happen if they were put in a large house with a recording studio and told to come up with 10 songs for an album?

I think it would be absolutely brilliant.

If you would like to do this with me, hit me up! The truth is that classical musicians are often so boxed in creatively – they’re either purely interpreting and madly learning repertoire, or they’re refining for a performance, recording, or a lesson. Perhaps they’re teaching and some of them composing too.

But what if they were told to write music in a style and genre of their own choosing, put some words together, add different effects, sounds, a groovy beat, and just make it up! I think it would free us and allow us to viewing the art of creation, compilation, and arrangement as also a part of being an artist.

It’s not that musicians and song writers such as Charlie Pluth or Ed Sheeran aren’t excellent artists in their own right. But we should realise if we are able to play some of the most technically difficult music ever written, and have studied music theory and harmony throughout our training, what they do isn’t exclusive to them. And we can do a pretty darn good job of it too.